


Mac and Dennis Start a War

by crookedbow



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s03e13 The Gang Gets Whacked, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, On the Run, Pulp Fiction References, Robbery, Thelma and Louise Refrences
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 10:39:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11011764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedbow/pseuds/crookedbow
Summary: The Gang gets whacked, Frank takes off with Dennis' cash, and Charlie and Dee get the hell out of dodge.Mac and Dennis have seen enough movies to know what to do next.(Or: Why Motels, Diners, and Running From the Law are Inherently Gay Things.)





	Mac and Dennis Start a War

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sikenesque](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sikenesque/gifts).



> Written for sikenesque Allison's prompt "partners in crime; on the run". Essentially, this is an alternate ending to "The Gang Gets Whacked (Part 2)" that got away from me. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Title taken from The National's "Start a War".

Dennis lets Mac drive on the way home - this is when Mac realizes that they’re in deep shit.

The Range Rover has been A Dennis Thing ever since high school. Like make-up, glam rock, and juice cleanses – it’s an unavoidable quirk of Dennis’ that Mac has learned to live with over the years.

They were fifteen the first time they drove it, despite neither actually possessing a license or a lick of experience; hell, Mac had only ever _ridden_ in a car a hand full of times. But as they trotted down the Reynold’s walkway, with the bus stop in mind, Dennis had paused. Mac followed his gaze: light glared off the bumper of Dennis’ father’s car.

Dennis caught Mac’s eye and smirked. “I’ll go get the keys.”

Mac had fought him on it. Not because he was chicken shit, or anything, it was just that he was smart and – and Mr. Reynold’s would definitely –

“My dad’s not going to find out, dude. He’s been M.I.A. for, like, ages. He’s not gonna come home from his ‘conference’ _now._ ” Dennis laughed, tossed the car keys up high in the air and caught them again with a flourish. “Not with all the hot college chicks rushing down to Miami for Spring Break.”

Mac considered this and nodded despite his apprehension. “Okay, fine. Fine. Can we at least push the car down the driveway before starting it?”

Dennis snorted. “Please. Like, my mom’s going to hear anything – she’s so wasted on her Xannies that she’d sleep through Christ’s second zombie rising or whatever the hell you’ve been blathering on about all day.”

Mac ignored the jab with frankly astounding self-control. “I’m not worried about your mom, bro. Dee’s up there and she’s, like, dying for you to get caught doing something so it’ll take some of the heat off her.”

Laughing, Dennis swung himself into the passenger side but Mac didn’t budge. “Uh, I _seriously_ doubt taking a ride around the block is going to be on par with Mom catching Dee lezzing it up with Fatty Magoo.”

Mac squinted. “I thought they were, like, practicing, or whatever. For kissing dudes.”

Dennis rolled his eyes. “Well, of _course_ she’d say that. Think of it this way, bro: if you and I kissed for practice – not that I need the practice, obviously – would that be considered normal heterosexual behavior?”

Neck burning, Mac jutted his chin out. “It’s different with girls, dude!” It wasn’t like Mac _liked_ Dee or anything, but it did make him sort of sad to think of her bird body burning in hell. She’d roast like a thanksgiving turkey.

“Man, just get in the car.” Dennis gazed up at him through his lashes and held out the key ring with one finger. “Come on, I’m even letting you drive.”

Mac heaved a great sigh and snatched the keys from him. Dennis smiled and –

 – and that was the last time Dennis willingly handed over the Range Rover’s keys. Their cruising adventure hadn’t exactly ended, uh, ideally.

It wasn’t that big of a thing, anyway: they went most places together and it was nice having someone drive Mac around.

But Dennis turns and fixes him with a blank gaze when Mac catches up with him outside of Don Sal’s house.

“You look like shit, dude.” Mac frowns.

Dennis ignores this. “Look,” He says, voice shaking minutely. “Are you waiting for Frank or are you coming with me.”

A pause.

Frank bursts out of the house, snarling. “Dennis! You get back here you little son of a –”

Mac makes up his mind, snatches the keys to the car from Dennis’ hand without thinking. “I’ll drive.” He moves to the driver’s side, shoes squelching with gutter muck.

Dennis gets in the car almost absently. “We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” Mac agrees, starting up the car as Frank approaches, shouting profanity. In the rear view mirror, he can see the mob boss’ wife on the front stoop of the house, cell phone in hand. “We’ll be fine.”

They pull out onto the road and Mac glances over at Dennis. He’s got his head pressed against the side window with his eyes shut.

“We’ll be fine,” Mac repeats, voice pitching. “We’ll sort this whole thing out in no time.”


End file.
